This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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