I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
