I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
