My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
