sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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