Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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