my vag is so smooth its legendary
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Barsexuality is the new black.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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