"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
