she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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