just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Panties = found
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
