On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
