Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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