I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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