Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Your dad touched me again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
