Me. At least after what I've been through.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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