This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
