New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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