I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
