I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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