so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
