her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
