please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
