i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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