I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
