Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
