i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
home. puking in laundry basket.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
