And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
