Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
