I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
