Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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