Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
