Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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