let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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