I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
