Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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