Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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