I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
