My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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