epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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