You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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