ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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