Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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