Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
