I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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