Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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