first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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