the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
