Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
