the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
