Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it's like heaven, but drunker
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
