We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This couple is walking their pig around campus
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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